Monday, November 1, 2010

Amstel Light Please

With the Holiday Season approaching we are likely to deck the halls and open our homes to guests and relatives.  Serving beer and wine at these traditional functions that include both adults and kids alike may seem common.  But what example are we setting by making noses red by serving alcohol ?  A new study shows that when measuring the harm caused to ourselves and to others, alcohol, NOT heroine or crack, is more dangerous.  So what does this study mean ?  It may mean that while we spend time fretting over the ever widening use of hard drugs by our kids, that we might want to take a look at the potential danger right under our nose.  This does not mean that you should not serve an Amstel Light to your neighbor at a holiday party.  It might mean that we should stop looking for the sharks in the water, like crack and heroine, and start taking safety measures as simple as wearing a seat belt, by teaching our kids the dangers and responsibilities of alcohol.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Teen Violence

Teen violence is on the Rise: While you may never witness or hear of violence against one of your teens, it may be surprising to learn that one in 11 teens in a serious relationship has been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Age of Consent does Not Mean Consensual

This is an important but uncomfortable topic, but I have to raise this subject with my kids and you might want to speak to yours. So alright, here it goes: As our kids enter high  school the average age of the students can be between 14 and 18. Even with this wide gap in age, as our kids mix and mingle it is not uncommon for them to enter into relationships where there is a disparity in age.  If that relationship turns sexual, it can have serious repercussions for both teens.  To Read More

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Recovery Magazine

My first issue of Recovery : A Magazine devoted to Children and Families who have Suffered Personal Injuries, will be available April 28, 2010.  For a free copy, email me, Tony Sheffy, at  This magazine will answer questions that families may have regarding the course of action they should take following a serious injury.  It will also contain articles and insightful tips on childhood safety.  I hope you enjoy it.

Monday, March 29, 2010

When Your Teen show Contempt Act Quickly

Contempt can permanently damage a relationship.  Experts believe that once a teen becomes contemptuous of a parent you must act quickly. Body language experts teach to approach a teen with a close stance and open palms and to simply say, "have I done something wrong."  Through this approach, expert Jannie Driver, says, "you are taking responsibility for his behavior even if you think that it is not your fault."

Friday, March 12, 2010

Consider the Consequence

Up on my Soap Box for Parental Responsibility:

Jessie Owens said that, “a life time of training for just 10 seconds." Whether our kids make a right or wrong choice that can affect their lives can happen in less than the blink of an eye. As parents, we may devote a lifetime of training our children for that one brief blink moment. However, the counter- pressure is not to impose the consequence necessary to complete the training. As parents we are not always ready for the reverse consequences to ourselves that this necessary training might have on us. We don't seem braced to accept that in doing the right thing for our kids, we may appear in the short run to stand to lose our sons' and/or daughters' friendship (I don't think their respect). Ten seconds is ten times longer than it takes to make a bad decision that may affect our kids for the rest of their lives. Step up and take the risk that the consequence of accountability may be more important for our kids in the long run then their immediate friendship.

Friday, February 5, 2010

A Slap in the Facebook - My Daughter Declined my Invitation of Friendship

Should parents join facebook ? I sent a facebook request to my daughter who is a college freshman.  My four high school age kids accepted my request.  She declined.  SHE DECLINED.  At first I was annoyed.  I associated her decline with the way I might feel if my credit card was declined for no good reason.  However, after I stopped imagining all of the inappropriate comments and pictures that she must have posted and that she wanted to keep me from seeing, my rational side accepted her choice.  My daughter, and my other teens as well, are entitled to their privacy.  In the same way I would not pick up the phone and listen in on a private conversation, Teens should be allowed to communicate with their peers without feeling censored.  Facebook can be a great social network for adults to reconnect with family and friends.  It is not a slap in the face to have a friendship request declined by your son or daughter.  Besides, your cousin Fred will always be happy to reconnect and share with you what he had for breakfast.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Empty Your Pockets: Student Drug Searches

Students do not check their 4th amendment rights to be free from unreasonable search and seizure when they walk into school. However, that does not mean that a student may not be searched for drugs. If a student is suspected of having drugs on his person the administration in conducting the search must have a reasonable suspicion. The search must be reasonable (remember the outrageous strip search of a 13 year old who was carrying aspirin), and the need to maintain order must out weigh the student's right to privacy All of these conditions may seem thin ice too an administrator who may be afraid of being sued should he/she make a mistake. Accordingly, where a student who contests a search, an administrator is likely, and probably wise, not to conduct a forcible search but instead might bring in the local police to conduct the search. In that case, the officer would have to have to obtain a warrant that finds probable cause for a search. In short, trying to find the balance of safeguarding fundamental constitutional rights against discouraging the school administration from taking necessary and appropriate steps to maintain order is a thin rope.